What happened in 2015? It was a bit of a blur to me. 2015 seems to me now like an office block halfway up a skyscraper that a giant gorilla threw me through at 200mph. I smashed through the glass on one side, had enough time to glance at the shocked faces of the 9to5ers as I hurtled by in mid-air, then had to immediately brace myself for the glass on the other side. It’s been the kind of year that, now I look back on it, I find myself saying out loud: “REALLY?! I wrote that this year?! Blimey!” Everything feels like a long, long time ago. Or it feels like it happened yesterday. There is no in between.
My only measure of time these days is the dates on the articles I wrote and how misaligned they are with how long I feel it was I wrote those pieces. One particular article I thought I had written a few months ago is dated all the way back to February. E L E V E N. M O N T H S. A G O. What the heck is that about?!
Anyway, here we are, December 31st 2015, even though in my brain we’re somewhere back in July when it was almost warm and not pissing it down outside constantly (not even a shiver of snow, I mean, come on Britain!). And as the only thing I have to share are my articles at the moment — yep, still single, surprise surprise — let’s do that. You never asked for a list of the articles I enjoyed writing the most this year but you’re getting it. I’m throwing it down your gob with a can of out-of-control spray cream and a dozen firecrackers. Eat it up with your New Year cheer, I insist.